Catharsis

I had a crappy day yesterday. Seriously crappy. I didn’t sleep well that night, I didn’t have a quiet restful morning like I usually enjoy to start my day.
Then work came and it was one thing after another and I was stressed and my supervisor was stressed and even the main boss was obviously stressed.
By noon, I’d eaten all the chocolate stashed around my office and was ready to call it a day. Then I ended my day by covering my desk, computer and favorite wool pants in hot chocolate. Yeah, it was a crap day.

For the last two hours of work, all I could think was “I’m going running after work and I’ll blast something loud and shut the world out.” So I got home from work, I got dressed to run and…couldn’t find my earphone adapter. I really hate that I need an adapter use my MP3 on my phone. I had a freak out, dumped my huge messy purse and…nothing. Crap.

I may have stood staring at the mess for several minutes before deciding to suck it up and go run anyway. I’m trying very hard to stick to the training program so I tied my shoes and grumpily slammed the door on my way out.

I begrudgingly did a lap walking to warm up. It sucked. Then I started my timer and when it beeped, I took off up the little hill in front of my house. I hit that hill faster than I should have but by the end of the second run set, I felt good. Actually, I felt great.

All my crappy emotions just poured into that physical release of my feet hitting the pavement. I think maybe I’m starting to get the appeal. I don’t claim to be in shape enough or experienced enough to claim this as the infamous “runner’s high,” but it was cathartic.

I’m looking forward to my next run. For the first time in my life, my lazy butt is moving and I’m truly enjoying the process.

Never thought that would happen.

Some general observations:
1. I need to drink more water. I find I'm fairly easily dehydrated.
2. I need to work on my breathing. That sounds funny but I have to be very conscious of it.
3. I'm glad I started this.

Let's try and set some personal goals again, shall we?

Meh, I suck at setting and keeping personal goals. I am the first person you want on your side if there is a deadline to meet and the last person you want if it's a project that needs to be done...whenever. Quite frankly, whenever is like tomorrow in my world: it never comes.

So here I am again, but maybe this time I'll try setting mini goals. Not like - "loose 15 pounds" but "get your butt out of bed and do yoga so your back doesn't hurt so much."

Actually, I think I'm going to try to start with "put two things in the box to take to goodwill everyday this week." Seriously, our apartment is a pit right now and half of it is because we have too much stuff. Way too much stuff. I rant on and on how I'm tired of junk, how I really would prefer to just skip the material goods presents this year for Christmas and then I go and plan another yarn order. Yup, I'm slightly hypocritical but I am tired of not having a place for everything in my apartment.

So once again, it's time to pass some of it on to someone else who could use it. It's time to let go and make more room in my house for...moving? Sitting? Breathing?

Let's see how mini goals work for me this time.