Mood Music: Small enough

All praise and all honour be
to the God of ancient mysteries
whose every sign and wonder turn the pages of our history
But tonite my heart is heavy
and I cannot keep from whispering this prayer
"are you there?"
- Nicole Nordemann

My heart bleeds today for those dead, those hurt, those still trapped and those grieving in Haiti today.

Oh great God, be small enough to wrap your arms around each one who needs you.

Mood Music: This week the Trend

And I just want to get mugged at knifepoint
to get cut enough to wake me up
cause I know that I don't want to die
sitting around watching my life go by
and what we take from this is what we'll get and we haven't quite figured it out just yet
because all of us are all too stuck
strapped to a chair watching our lives blow up
stuck watching our lives blow up
- Reliant K
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When the heck did I become an EMO? Seriously, if I were ten years younger I would fit right in with the high school emo kids.
Maybe I've always had a bit of a depressed personality but really I only get that way when I'm stressed out or extremely introspective. Although, with the way I choose to live my life lately, that's about 90% of the time.
I guess I feel a little stuck lately. My other mood music choice was Dare you to Move by Switchfoot because I feel like I need a kick in the rear lately to get me moving. My PhD applications are in though and that may also be the source of my stress.
I never, ever feel like I'm good enough. I never feel like I have enough to offer. Freaking years of counseling haven't taken that away.

Yup. Definately way too emo for my own good today.

Mood Music: Innocent by Our Lady Peace

Oh, Tina's losing faith in what she knows
Hates her music, hates all of her clothes
Dreams of surgery and a new nose
Every calories a war
While she wishes she was a dancer
and that she never heard of cancer
She wishes God would give her some answers
and make her feel beautiful

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I find it's a good idea to let go and lose yourself every once in a while. I think that's where I've been for some time but things are starting to become a little clearer again.

The question becomes, will I find myself the same person as I left behind? I hope not. I hope I find myself someone else, not out of an objection to who I was before but because if I'm the same, what was the point?