Barsippa and trafe da'at

Ah, the pull of complex words has called to me again.
Last saturday, Phillip and I headed to chattanooga and hung out with Darrell. One of the things we did was head to the sculpture garden in Little Italy up by Rembrandts. Some of it was odd, some of it was pretty cool. One piece called to me in particular.

It's called Borsippa and I wish now I had taken a picture. I may have to make it a point to go back and do that. The only one I can find online is here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/robertlz/386117926/

The picture doesn't do it justice. The metal is textured and every piece almost looks like it's in motion. It's chaotic, but seems to be moving.
Borsippa was an ancient city in what is now Iraq. It has a ziggurat and is believed by some to be the Tower of Babel.

Confusion in the sculpture make sense much? From a place that once held peace, Chaos emerged and changed everything. But in the chaos a beauty is found because it enabled us to spread into the diverse and wonderful world that we have now.
It took chaos first.

Trafe da'at is a herbrew term meaning "of a torn mind." I find myself living with a torn mind, living in the chaos that I'm hoping something beautiful will come out of. There is too much going on in my head, too much going on in my life and I find that nothing I'm doing is coming out as anything worthwhile. I'm looking at the world through a shattered pane of glass.

My mind needs to stop being so torn. I need to learn to let go. But letting go isnt' always easy. You will only change when the pain of changing becomes less than the pain of staying the same.

I think I might have hit that wall.

I'm tired of being trafe da'at.